Re: [asa] Children's letters to Santa

Poor taste, poor humor. Let me guess... Yep, I guessed right our
confused friend Janice.

On Dec 21, 2007 8:04 AM, Janice Matchett <janmatch@earthlink.net> wrote:
>
> Today's children and their letters to Santa. ~ Janice :)
>
>
> Dear Santa,
> I have been good all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy
> in the world for everybody!
> Love, Sarah (who wants to grow up to be an AGW computer modeler just like
> my daddy.)
>
> Dear Sarah,
> Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
> Santa
>
>
> Dear Santa,
> I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy
> and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
> Love, Teddy (Sarah's friend)
>
> Dear Teddy,
> Look, your dad's busy banging the AGW drum with Algore and Deepak. Do you
> think he's gonna give up trying to turn carbon into currency just to come
> back to an AGW Denier who's trying to stop him from getting a piece of that
> action? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos
> instead.
> Santa
>
> Dear Santa,
> After you save the polar bears, can you please bring me a new bike, a
> Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum set, a pony and a tuba?
> Love, Francis
>
> Dear Francis,
> Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I'll set you up with a Green
> Barbie.
> Santa
>
>
> Dear Santa,
> I left your last meal of milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I
> left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door because my mommy told
> me that the preacher at our church told her that the North Pole is melting
> and you all won't be around next year.
> Love, Susan
>
> Dear Susan,
> Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer [...] in my face when
> riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor?
> Leave me a bottle of scotch to drink after I move my operations to Vegas.
> Or, you could leave a bottle of whatever your mommy and the preacher drink.
> That would work.
> Santa
>
> Dear Santa,
> What are you gonna do the other 364 days in 2008, now? My mommy told me
> that you would only be allowed to bring us green toys from now on and will
> have to throw away all those other ones you made. (PS: Please don't throw
> them away - I'll take them - I have a good hiding place. I never use my
> green crayon because I hate that color. )
> Your friend, Thomas
>
> Dear Thomas,
> I stopped making toys years ago - all the toys are made in China now. When
> I pick them up in '08 they will all be painted with green lead paint. As for
> me, I bought a condo in Vegas, where I will spend most of my time making
> low-budget AGW crisis films for Algore and Deepak. I will unwind by drinking
> myself silly and ..." Hey, you wanted to know.
> Santa
>
> Dear Santa,
> Are you skeered of GW like me? Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you
> really know when we're awake, like in the song?
> Love, Jessica
>
> Dear Jessica,
> Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in
> whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
> Santa
>
>
> Dear Santa,
> I really really want a puppy this year. My mommy says I can have one if
> it's green. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have a green one?
> Timmy
>
> Timmy,
> That whiny begging may work with your folks, but that cr*p doesn't work
> with me. You're getting a white sweater to match the color of the glacier
> that's creeping up on you.
> Santa
>
> Dearest Santa, We don't have an open chimney in our house anymore - my
> mommy says we have to be green now because of global warming - so she made
> my dad close it up. Now I'm worried - how will you be able to get into our
> house? (PS: I'm even more worried about that than I am about the polar
> bears, but please, please don't tell my teacher, OK?)
> Love, Marky
>
> Mark,
> First, stop calling yourself "Marky", like your mommy and your teacher does
> - that's why you're getting your butt whipped at recess. I'll get inside
> your house just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
> Sweet Dreams, Santa
>
>
>
>
>

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Received on Fri Dec 21 14:14:35 2007