Re: [asa] Children's letters to Santa

Thanks, Janet. Some of them are real funny, and us ASA ppl need to relax
frequently

Larry Johnston, ASA member

Date sent: Fri, 21 Dec 2007 11:04:41 -0500
To: <asa@calvin.edu>
From: Janice Matchett <janmatch@earthlink.net>
Subject: [asa] Children's letters to Santa

> Today's children and their letters to Santa. ~ Janice :)
>
>
> Dear Santa,
> I have been good all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and
> joy in the world for everybody!
> Love, Sarah (who wants to grow up to be an AGW computer modeler just
> like my daddy.)
>
> Dear Sarah,
> Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
> Santa
>
>
> Dear Santa,
> I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
> mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
> Love, Teddy (Sarah's friend)
>
> Dear Teddy,
> Look, your dad's busy banging the AGW drum with Algore and
> Deepak. Do you think he's gonna give up trying to turn carbon into
> currency just to come back to an AGW Denier who's trying to stop him
> from getting a piece of that action? It's time to give up that
> dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
> Santa
>
> Dear Santa,
> After you save the polar bears, can you please bring me a new bike, a
> Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum set, a pony and a tuba?
> Love, Francis
>
> Dear Francis,
> Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I'll set you up with a Green Barbie.
> Santa
>
>
> Dear Santa,
> I left your last meal of milk and cookies for you under the tree, and
> I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door because my
> mommy told me that the preacher at our church told her that the North
> Pole is melting and you all won't be around next year.
> Love, Susan
>
> Dear Susan,
> Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer [...] in my face
> when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor?
> Leave me a bottle of scotch to drink after I move my operations to
> Vegas. Or, you could leave a bottle of whatever your mommy and the
> preacher drink. That would work.
> Santa
>
> Dear Santa,
> What are you gonna do the other 364 days in 2008, now? My mommy told
> me that you would only be allowed to bring us green toys from now on
> and will have to throw away all those other ones you made. (PS:
> Please don't throw them away - I'll take them - I have a good hiding
> place. I never use my green crayon because I hate that color. )
> Your friend, Thomas
>
> Dear Thomas,
> I stopped making toys years ago - all the toys are made in China now.
> When I pick them up in '08 they will all be painted with green lead
> paint. As for me, I bought a condo in Vegas, where I will spend most
> of my time making low-budget AGW crisis films for Algore and Deepak.
> I will unwind by drinking myself silly and ..." Hey, you wanted to know.
> Santa
>
> Dear Santa,
> Are you skeered of GW like me? Do you see us when we're sleeping, do
> you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
> Love, Jessica
>
> Dear Jessica,
> Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in
> whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
> Santa
>
>
> Dear Santa,
> I really really want a puppy this year. My mommy says I can have one
> if it's green. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have a green one?
> Timmy
>
> Timmy,
> That whiny begging may work with your folks, but that cr*p doesn't
> work with me. You're getting a white sweater to match the color of
> the glacier that's creeping up on you.
> Santa
>
> Dearest Santa, We don't have an open chimney in our house anymore -
> my mommy says we have to be green now because of global warming - so
> she made my dad close it up. Now I'm worried - how will you be able
> to get into our house? (PS: I'm even more worried about that than I
> am about the polar bears, but please, please don't tell my teacher, OK?)
> Love, Marky
>
> Mark,
> First, stop calling yourself "Marky", like your mommy and your
> teacher does - that's why you're getting your butt whipped at recess.
> I'll get inside your house just like the boogeyman does, through
> your bedroom window.
> Sweet Dreams, Santa
>
>
>
>
>

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Received on Fri Dec 21 20:09:38 2007