Funny! I'll give the list a try myself.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
YEC: The question itself is invalid - the chicken never crossed the road.
Everything was created in the form we're now familiar with a short time ago
- including the road, the "Speed Limit 50mph" sign, the roadside billboard
advertising Chuck E. Cheese coming up on the third exit, and the chicken
itself was already on the other side. "Crossing" was never necessary, and
any chicken tracks found in the dirt by geologists are either
misunderstandings or active deception.
OEC: Talk of "the road" and all things associated with it does not require
believing that these things always existed in the form we currently know
them. Indeed, a proper understanding of context indicates that it's entirely
possible this road and the signs were formed over quite a long period of
time. The chicken, however, did not need to cross the road when the
appointed time came - and while there may have been some chicken-like
creatures on the side of the road opposite them, these were not "chickens"
in the fullest sense of the word, nor are they truly related to actual
chickens.
Atheist: The idea that the chicken crossed the road is no longer a theory -
it is a fact. Furthermore, the development of these chickens was by no means
intended or guided, and suggestions to the contrary are magical,
superstitious speculations inherited by primitive and shamanistic cave-fowl.
Random chance and material necessity is able to explain the development of
chickens, roads, engines, seatbelts, cars, PennDOT, Amtrak, and everything
else without needing to involve talk of design or agency. Really, who needs
magic when an infinite multiverse can explain everything concisely?
TE: The chicken crossed the road - this much we can be certain of, unless
there was some conspiracy to make all evidence look as if the chicken
crossed the road when in actuality it didn't, which is unacceptable.
Nevertheless, there are indications - not scientific, mind you, but still
valid - that the chicken's crossing of the road, the road itself, and all
other things involved did involve some manner of guidance, foresight, and
cooperation with an agent. You'd like to hear me explain in detail how this
is so? Wait, is the darwinist and atheist in earshot? I... really have to be
going now.
Darwinist: Not only are we certain that the chicken crossed the road, we are
certain that darwinian mechanisms are capable of fully explaining absolutely
every detail of development which took place in this gradualistic crossing.
And any explanation that seems evolutionary and valid yet not darwinian is
entirely compatible with darwinian theory in the larger sense. As a matter
of fact, if it's true, it's darwinism. Darwinism can explain why you prefer
belgian waffles to pancakes for breakfast. Wait, you prefer pop tarts? We
can explain that too. What do you mean some of these explanations sound
vague and silly? Even if that's the case, the alternative is... is just too
dreadful to think about.
IDer: Why did the chicken cross the road? Interesting question. Well, maybe
the chicken never crossed the road - but if it did cross the road, Darwinian
mechanisms are utterly inadequate to properly explain just how this took
place. Design is apparent and certain, with examples in abundance throughout
nature - oh, is the atheist and darwinist in earshot? Let's talk louder to
tick 'em off! What, they said our claims are religious rather than
scientific? That's preposterous! We can only identify design, but we make no
claims about the designer's identity or... hey, are they gone? Good. Okay,
yeah, it's absolutely God.
(I tried to give each side some equal amount of tweaking, hopefully that
comes through. :)
TE:
> A chicken “road-crossing gene” must have conferred adaptive advantages to
> the more adventuresome chickens, naturally selecting for them. (Oh ---and
> God was involved.)
>
> Darwinist:
> We’re still working on the details of exactly how, but we DO KNOW THIS:
> natural selection and meaningless random mutations are the ONLY possible
> mechanisms that will determine why the chicken crosses the road.
>
> IDer:
> You know, this is an interesting genre of jokes. It couldn’t have started
> other than by intelligent assembly of all the components at once. Because,
> you know, we can talk about a chicken… and that’s not very funny. Or we can
> look at a road … that doesn’t really work either. But a chicken crossing a
> road! Now we have something. All these people that imagine primitive jokes
> about a road which then somehow acquire a humorously advantageous chicken
> mutation ---well they must just be low-watt bulbs.
>
>
>
>
>
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Received on Sat Jul 18 05:52:33 2009
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