[asa] custom ASA "chicken crossing road" jokes

Just to add some intellectual depth to all the debates, I thought I'd
add this in. This was equal-opportunity parody. I even make fun of my
own favored position (or what I know to be others' caricature of it).
Enjoy ---or tweak it or add to it.
--Merv

Why did the chicken cross the road?

YEC:
Road-crossing by chickens is a post-fall activity. Now that we all have
to toil for our living, the chicken must toil too. Ever since the first
blissful pair of chickens disobeyed the creator and decided to take a
stroll across the road of knowledge of good and evil, now they’ve been
looking for roads to cross everywhere.

OEC:
It may have been millions of years ago, but somewhere back then there
was a “fifth day” in which God said: “let birds fly above the earth in
the open expanse of sky and fill the earth.” So the chickens…? Well they
tried. Lord knows they tried. But they just couldn’t make the glorious
heights and distances like their more lofty cousins. What they lack in
flight ability, though, they make up for in perseverance. They are going
to fill the earth by any means necessary; and if this means crossing a
few roads, so be it.

Atheist:
The fact that chickens cross the road at all is such a meaningless,
pointless exercise. How could a loving God consign his creation to such
menial and dangerous activity? Since we can already explain all
road-crossing behavior in evolutionary terms, this makes God’s existence
superfluous, and highly unlikely.

Evolutionist:
A chicken “road-crossing gene” must have conferred adaptive advantages
to the more adventuresome chickens, naturally selecting for them.

TE:
A chicken “road-crossing gene” must have conferred adaptive advantages
to the more adventuresome chickens, naturally selecting for them. (Oh
---and God was involved.)

Darwinist:
We’re still working on the details of exactly how, but we DO KNOW THIS:
natural selection and meaningless random mutations are the ONLY possible
mechanisms that will determine why the chicken crosses the road.

IDer:
You know, this is an interesting genre of jokes. It couldn’t have
started other than by intelligent assembly of all the components at
once. Because, you know, we can talk about a chicken… and that’s not
very funny. Or we can look at a road … that doesn’t really work either.
But a chicken crossing a road! Now we have something. All these people
that imagine primitive jokes about a road which then somehow acquire a
humorously advantageous chicken mutation ---well they must just be
low-watt bulbs.

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Received on Fri Jul 17 22:37:54 2009