Re: [ACG] election eve musing

N ow if some of you can't decide by election tomorrow here is an offer you cant refuse!
>
> > NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
> > > >> To the citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your
> > failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we
> > hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective
> today.
> > Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
> over
> > all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she
> does
> > not fancy. Your new primeminister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP for the
> > 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world
> outside
> > your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for
> > further elections. Congress
> > and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next
> > year to determine whether any of you noticed.To aid in the transition to a
> > British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with
> immediate
> > effect:
> > 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
> > Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
> amazed
> > at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should
> > raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using
> the
> > same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and
> > "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look
> up
> > "interspersed".
> > 2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
> > your behalf.
> > 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It
> > really isn't that hard.
> > 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
> > the good guys.
> > 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
> > Queen",but only after fully carrying out
> > task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way
> through.
> > 6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind
> > of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
> > game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
> > borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American"
> > football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead
> play
> > proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls.
> > It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be
> allowed
> > to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not
> involve
> > stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body
> armour
> > like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens
> side
> > by 2005.
> > 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
> > they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there
> is
> > a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians
> > have never been the bad guys.
> > 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new
> > national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive
> Day".
> > 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your
> own
> > good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
> > 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
> >
> > Thank you for your cooperation.
>
 Rt Hon Tony Bliar
Received on Tue Nov 2 12:04:38 2004