Re: [asa] science and homosexuality

>
> 2. Sexual orientation can be changed for more than just a handful of
> > people. Or to put it into Biblical terms that we can make this
> > particular temptation go away through psychological therapy even
> > though temptation for other sins doesn't necessarily disappear in
> > believers. This is what I want to focus on.
>
>
> The facts that some people are unsuccessful in trying to change and that
> some regimens for change do more harm than good does not tell whether or not
> change is possible or good. Closely equivalent assertions would be true
> about diet programs, for example. For another example, I know several
> people who failed to complete a graduate degree and one who attempted
> suicide in response to the pressures of the program. These problems
> mentioned have roots in both the people in question and in the programs, and
> do not show that completion of a graduate program is impossible nor an undue
> imposition. Other information indicates that some people do not have the
> ability to complete a legitimate graduate degree, whereas others do.
> Whether those who fail to change away from homosexuality are not trying hard
> enough or not trying in the right way or could have changed with better and
> sooner intervention is not readily answered except based on a priori moral
> beliefs.
>

Having read the article in question, I'm not surprised at all that people on
"Love In Action" failed to change their orientation, as it seems to me that
the atmosphere was highly judgemental ... not allowing people in the
bathroom, singling out people at getting them to associate "shame" with
homosexual acts. It surely has to be bad psychology to try and guilt-trip
someone out of an undesirable behaviour.

This sort of thing is sadly try of a lot of well-meaning Christian inspired
organizations, including a large number of US based suicide help lines.
Wanting to get some outside feedback on what outsiders think of my own
organization ( The Samaritans) I found a suicide newsgroup (
alt.suicide.holiday ). As one poster put it, many of these organizations
try to "bullshit or guilt-trip you out of it". (Think of what it will do to
your family and all that sort of stuff ... all true, but simply not the
right thing to tell a person comtemplating suicide). When she contacted the
Samaritans, she found refreshingly that they accepted her suicidal state of
mind and didn't judge her for it.

I don't know if it is possible to change someone's sexual orientation by
counselling and therapy, but I'm not at all surprised that the methods
described in the article fail to bear any fruit. If we are to take
seriously the notion that God used evolution to create us, then we have got
also to accept that all sorts of things that are different from sex with
someone of the opposite gender give rise to sexual arousal - as I said in an
earlier post, it's to do with the way we're wired up. There is nothing
shameful about getting sexual feelings - it's the way we automatically
discover how to reproduce. But given the climate of shame and hype
surrounding sex, it's not surprising that often people discover something
else to do for sexual gratification.

So I propose dropping the "shame" aspect. Furthermore, drop the notion that
homosexual acts are unnatural. They are in fact natural - many animals do
it, and presumably they don't have a sense of shame.

If someone enrolls on a course to become an "ex-gay", I'd suggest only
accepting such a person if you are convinced that they themselves want to
change. If it's parents forcing them to do it against their will, then
there doesn't seem much point.

Above all else, Don't Judge. In the case of suicidal people, the founder of
The Samaritans (Chad Varah) discovered that talking to a sympathetic
stranger about your suicidal feelings, without fear of judgement, frequently
ameliorated those feelings and gave people a reason to carry on. And this
really works, every time we do a tin-shake to raise funds we get lots of
people come up and say "if it weren't for you guys, I wouldn't be here
today". Whether the same principle can be applied to a gay person seeking
to change their orientation I do not know, but sure as anything trying to
recondition their thinking by shaming them will either reinforce the
behaviour, or worse still lead to loss of self-esteem and suicide, as
mentioned in the article.

Iain

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Received on Fri Jun 16 16:44:22 2006