Light relief - Genesis in business-jargon

Found this on a web-page about annoying business jargon & thought it might
amuse some people here...

Unfortunately it's so like so many things I've seen written by business
people, that it may be too near the truth to be funny!

Iain

The King James Version of the Holy Bible is widely recognised as one of the
finest pieces of writing in the English language. It begins like this:

*GENESIS*

*CHAPTER ONE*

   1. *In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.*
   2. *And the earth was without form and void; and darkness was upon the
   face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
   *
   3. *And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.*
   4. *And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light
   from the darkness.*
   5. *And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night.
   And the evening and the morning were the first day.*
   6. *And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters,
   and let it divide the waters from the waters.*
   7. *And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were
   under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it
   was so.*
   8. *And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and morning
   were the second day.*

If King James had given the drafting job to a PR agency, it would probably
have read like this:

*'GENESIS' - AN APPROACH TO PLANETARY CREATION*

*SECTION ONE*

   1. *At the outset, God's agenda was to basically focus on his core
   deliverables, namely two leading-edge products, (a) heaven and (b) earth.
   *
   2. *However, the earth lacked an overall concept, and had a low
   profile in terms of its key audiences. Obviously the Spirit of God had to
   step back and benchmark the existing waters before his game plan could get
   the green light.*
   3. *And God's key message was that light was a strategic objective,
   and it was covered-off.*
   4. *And God's perception of the light was that it was fit for purpose.
   However, his desired goal was that light and darkness should be
   differentiated in the marketplace.*
   5. *So God branded the light 'Day', and the darkness he branded 'I
   Can't Believe It's Not Light'. And the evening session and morning session
   made up Day One.*
   6. *Then God set out with the object of factoring-in a firmament to
   interface with the existing generic waters, to bring to the party two
   segmented brands.*
   7. *So God tasked himself with the job of rolling-out a firmament, to
   supply a proactive vehicle for launching his two distinct waters products,
   and it was up and running.*
   8. *And God branded the firmament 'heaven'. And at close of play, the
   prioritised actions for Day Two were ticked off.*

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After the game, the King and the pawn go back in the same box.
- Italian Proverb
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