ConversionsSome humourless responses;
How many Episcopalians do you get at one of their prayer meetings?
Four because there is always a fifth.
How do you tell the sex of a chromosome?
Take off its jeans
Two cats on a roof; which slid off first?
The one with the smaller mew.
What isn't intelligently designed?
A dumb blonde
----- Original Message -----
From: Robert Schneider
To: asa@calvin.edu
Sent: Wednesday, July 13, 2005 7:23 PM
Subject: Fw: [ Fun Conversions]
A break from serious talk (Michael Roberts, take note).
For those who thought the hardest part of Physics 101 was the constant conversion from MKS or CGS units to English units, here are some useful English system conversions:
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Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line (think about it for a moment)
453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
1 million-million microphones: 1 megaphone
1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
365.25 days: 1 unicycle
2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds (work on it....)
10 cards: 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
10 rations: 1 decoration
100 rations: 1 C-ration
2 monograms: 1 diagram
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
144 Congressmen: 1 Gross stupidity
288 Congressmen: 2 Gross to describe
Received on Wed Jul 13 18:27:59 2005
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