From: John W Burgeson (burgytwo@juno.com)
Date: Thu Oct 31 2002 - 20:29:24 EST
Subject: Discovery of New Element
BUFFALO, New York (AP) - Researchers at the University of Buffalo
recently discovered the heaviest element known to science:
Administratium.
Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons
and 111 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which is
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A minute amount of administratium causes one reaction to take
more than four days to complete when it would normally take less than one
second.
Administratium has normal half-life of three years. It does not decay
but, instead, undergoes a reorganization, in which a number of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons
exchange places. In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase
over time as each reorganization causes some morons to
become neutrons forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate
that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "critical
morass". You will know it when you see it.
Burgy
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