Can't we all just get along?

From: John W Burgeson (burgytwo@juno.com)
Date: Mon Sep 24 2001 - 17:51:35 EDT

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    "Can't we all just get along?" Rodney King is credited with those words.
    In today's climate, it seems next to impossible. The following story
    illustrates how we theists, all too often, "eat our own."
    -----------------------------------------------------------
    I was in San Francisco, walking on the Golden Gate Bridge, and I saw this
    guy about to jump. I thought I'd try to stall him, detain him long enough
    for me to put the film in my camera.

    I said, "Don't jump!" And he turned. You've heard of the Elephant Man? He
    was kinda like that. He had a -- well, you could say he had the head of a
    horse.

    My heart went out to him. I said, "Why the long face?"

         "Because all my life people have called me mean names like Flicka,
    or Trigger."

         "Well, don't worry about it, kid. It can't be that bad."

         "Nobody loves me."

         "God loves you, you ninny."

         "How do you know there is a God?"

         "Of COURSE there's a God. Do you think that billions of years ago a
    bunch of molecules floating around at random could someday have had the
    sense of humor to make you look like that?"

         He says, "I do believe in God."

         I said, "Are you a Christian?"

         "Yes."

         "Me TOO! Protestant or Catholic?"

         "Protestant."

         "Me too. What kind?"

         "Baptist."

          "Me too. Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"

         "Northern Baptist."

         "Me too. Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist or Northern
    Conservative Reformed Baptist?"

         He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist."

         I said, "Me too. Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great
    Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Eastern
    Region?"

       He said, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes
    Region."

         I said, "Me too. Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great
    Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Fundamentalist
    Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"

         He says, "Northern Conservative Fundamentalist Baptist Great Lakes
    Region Council of 1912."

         "DIE heretic!" I cried, and shoved him off the bridge.
    ------------------------------------------
    John Burgeson (Burgy)

    http://www.burgy.50megs.com
           (science/theology, quantum mechanics, baseball, ethics,
            humor, cars, God's intervention into natural causation, etc.)



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