The Twelve Exactly-Determined Politically-Correct Days
of Planet Earth's Winter Solstice
(Application to other planets is not guaranteed)
On the twelfth earth-spin-determined time interval of the Eurocentrically
imposed midwinter festival,
said festival being chronologically concurrent with, but not necessarily
related to, certain religious activities,
usually carried on by the benighted masses, and fueled, of course, by the
Religious Right,
my significant other conveyed, without contract, and even without demand
of prior, present or post payment,
but entirely (so it seems) from a state of evolutionary-correct, yet
possibly non-scientific, altruism, to me,
Twelve certifiably male adult (over 21) human beings,
each reclaiming their inner warrior by means of intensive ritual drumming
upon instruments
made from 90% recycled material.
All of the finished instrument is recyclable, of course;
apologies are made to Mother Earth for the 10% virgin materials that were
used.
Research is underway to reduce this use even further, should additional
instruments be required.
Eleven members in good contractual standing of the Musicians Equity
Union,
with dues paid to date,
piping,
on union-made horns, made in America, accompanied by a 34 piece
orchestra,
according to the standard union contract,
even though they will not be called upon to emit a single note of music.
Ten melanin-challenged,
testosterone-poisoned,
scions
of the dominant patriarchal ruling class,
rebounding. Glass backboards are in use;
they are certified unbreakable.
In any case, the audience is protected from the play court by EPA
approved shielding.
Nine persons of uncertain gender
engaged in rhythmic self expression
in a dance approved by the TEA, NEA and OSHA.
Eight economically disadvantaged female human beings
engaged in the disapproved process of stealing milk products
from enslaved bovine-Americans.
Seven endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands.
Six enslaved foul-Americans
producing stolen non-human animal products.
Five golden symbols of culturally sanctioned
enforced domestic feminine subjugation.
Four hours of recorded whale songs.
Three deconstructionist poets
from a respected Eastern U.S. University.
Two Sierra Club calendars
printed on recycled processed tree carcasses,
using government-approved inks
and OSHA-sanctioned work activities.
And a spotted owl activist
chained to an old-growth pear tree!
One version of this I've seen attributes a Mr. Taub as the original
author.
Merry Christmas
Burgy
________________________________________________________________
YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET!
Juno now offers FREE Internet Access!
Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit:
http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj.